Residential school survivors share mixed emotions following Pope Francis’ apology: ‘I’m still so hurt’

Emotional support or assistance for those who are affected by the residential school system can be found at Indian Residential School Survivors Society toll-free 1 (800) 721-0066 or 24-hr Crisis Line 1 (866) 925-4419.

Residential school survivors reflected on the impact of Pope Francis’ apology while visiting Alberta this week.

There has been an array of emotions for survivors, with not everyone feeling they can move forward from the decades of trauma.

The Pope apologized Monday to residential school survivors and their families for the role the Roman Catholic Church played in the cultural destruction and forced assimilation of Indigenous Peoples.

During an event in the community of Maskwacis, south of Edmonton, Francis begged forgiveness for the evil acts committed by members of the Catholic Church.

For residential school survivor Angie Crerar, the apology meant a lot.

“My heart is so full right now,” Crerar told CityNews. “We said it’s going to be the Pope who helps heal us, it’s going to be the Pope who makes a move for us, and moves forward and supports us. And today I stand free and so happy because it actually happened.”

Susan Caribou, also a residential school survivor, says the apology made little impact on her.

“I’m still so hurt, it seems like that apology didn’t mean anything to me,” said Caribou. “It didn’t take away the scars I hide every day.”

Caribou was highly anticipating the Papal visit, and made the trek from Manitoba.

“I thought maybe if I could hear the apology in person, that I would start healing. All it did was reopen all of the hurt and the scars,” she added.

“If I didn’t fight back I wouldn’t be here today. I’m grateful I was one of the lucky ones to make it.”

In his apology, Pope Francis called residential school policy a “disastrous error” and says further investigation and healing is needed.

“I’ve waited 50 years for this apology, and finally today I heard it,” said residential school survivor Evelyn Korkmaz. “Unfortunately, a lot of my family members, friends, classmates and members of my community that went to residential school were not able to hear it because they had passed on through suicide, alcohol addiction, and other substance abuse – because they could not endure or live with the trauma that they endured in these residential schools.”

No work plan in apology, laments survivor

Korkmaz, who is from Ontario, spoke at a press conference Monday with Treaty 6 chiefs.

“Today I heard an apology. I was hoping to hear some kind of work plan,” she added. “On how he’s trying to seek reconciliation with us, how he wants to work with us. Because there was no mention in his apology of releasing the documents that we desperately need across Canada. These documents have our history. These documents hold where these lost souls were buried. These documents hold the identification of these children.

“It would give their families, their loved ones, closure. Everyone needs closure in order to move on.”

Caroline Ouskun, who spent seven years in a residential school in Manitoba, says she hopes the apology begins a widespread healing process.

“I had mixed feelings when I first came here,” said Ouskun, who is from the Tataskweyak Cree Nation. “After the ceremony and the gathering, my spirit is lifted. I have a different beat to my heart. When I came here, I came here to support the memory of the children. My great-grandchildren, my grandchildren, my children – two of them were in residential school also. And there are many in our community.

“I’m hoping that there’s a shift to the way we feel. Going back home, I think we have a lot of work to do in continuing the healing.”

Public mass at Commonwealth Stadium

On Tuesday, nearly 70,000 people filled Edmonton’s Commonwealth Stadium to take part in a public mass with Pope Francis.

A team of 460 priests and 56 deacons were slated to deliver holy communion. The mass is expected to continue the Pope’s message of healing and reconciliation.

“Kind of got mixed emotions,” said day school survivor Patty Crofton from Commonwealth Stadium Tuesday morning before the mass. “I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m angry – I’m going through all of it. I’m very proud to be part of this historical moment.

“I’m very honoured to be here part of this as being a day school survivor, and a daughter of a residential survivor as well.”

READ MORE:

• ‘I am deeply sorry’: Pope Francis apologizes for church’s role in ‘evil’ residential schools
• Pope Francis arrives in Edmonton for Indigenous reconciliation visit in Canada

More than 150,000 children were taken from their families and forced into residential schools as children. Thousands never made it out alive.

A red banner inscribed with the names of hundreds of children who died in residential schools was slowly walked around in front of Pope Francis in Maskwacis on Monday.

“It’s about healing, it’s about remembering those children, maybe monuments to recognize, its about getting the records so every family will have the right to know where their child went, or where they are today,” said Audry Poitras, the president of Metis Nation of Alberta.

Later in the week, Francis is set to travel to Quebec City for meetings with Indigenous Peoples and to host another mass. He is also to travel to Iqaluit.

—With files from The Canadian Press and Theresa Barrera, OMNI News