Calgary parents lose son while waiting for AHS help

WARNING: This story talks about suicide.

A Calgary couple is pointing to gaps in Alberta’s mental health support system after their 50-year-old son took his own life days after a consultation with Alberta Health Services (AHS).

Bob and Peggy Gibennus say their 50-year-old son Ken had been living with mental health challenges for years.

In early January, Ken’s psychiatrist recommended psychotherapy and arranged a consultation with AHS for Jan. 14.

It was then an appointment with a psychologist was made, but it wasn’t coming anytime soon.

“He couldn’t get help. Not until April 28? Three months he would have to wait in this dilemma? He had already been, since August, struggling,” Peggy told CityNews.

“I can only imagine how disappointed and how he must have felt.”

Ken died on Jan. 21, just seven days after his consultation.

“He couldn’t wait three months. He waited a week. And he lost the battle,” Bob said.

“He wanted nothing but the best for all of us, and yet he had to make this choice,” Peggy said.

Ken Gibennus in a photo. (Courtesy of Bob and Peggy Gibennus)

Bob and Peggy say Ken was a beloved father of two with a passion for woodworking.

To this day, many of his creations are featured throughout the Gibennus household, including a custom cutting board.

“He told me when he gave it to me: ‘I better see cut marks on it too. It’s not just something to look at.’ So, I use it every day,” Bob explained.

Though they described a certain pain that comes with the physical reminders of Ken’s life, there’s also a newfound appreciation.

“We’re so thankful to have those things now so that he’s here with us.”

Bob Gibennus holds a cutting board that his son made while he stands in his home in Calgary. (Tate Laycraft, CityNews photo)

Though the couple is understanding of backlogs and increased wait times, they wish there was a better way to get help for those who need it now.

“This man was very, very ill, and I feel like he should have been a really good candidate to be moved to the top of the list,” Bob explained.

Following Ken’s death, Bob and Peggy reached out to AHS hoping to see a grief counsellor, but further delays pushed them to pursue alternative options.

“When we found out that it was going to be nine months before we could receive some grief support from AHS, we contacted Canada Mental Health,” Bob said.

Three days later, Bob and Peggy attended an online therapy session organized by the Canadian Mental Health Association.

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CityNews reached out to Alberta’s ministry of mental health and addiction for comment. They directed us to AHS.

In a statement, AHS says wait times for mental health services have “fluctuated” due to the COVID-19 pandemic and says the times are higher for adults in the province.

“Demand has increased across the healthcare system following the pandemic, and that includes addiction and mental health services,” the statement reads.

“We know now more than ever Albertans may need additional support, and AHS is focused on enhancing service delivery and system coordination, such as increasing access to online and virtual care while providing more resources to Albertans helping them support their mental well-being.”

AHS also says its “thoughts are with the individuals’ loved ones.”

Peggy recalls the life Ken led and what could have been.

“He’s just such a beautiful man that we lose at 50. He didn’t get to experience being a grandpa. Walking his daughter down the aisle,” Peggy said.

Bob Gibennus, left, poses in a group photo with his wife Peggy, centre right, and his son Ken. (Courtesy of Bob and Peggy Gibennus)

AHS says those struggling with grief or depression can seek support through the mental health hotline at 1-877-303-2642 or reach out online.