Men play role in preventing domestic violence: Calgary expert
Posted Feb 17, 2023 7:58 pm.
Last Updated Feb 20, 2023 10:05 am.
Domestic violence can be prevented by dismantling societal beliefs about masculinity, and a focus on culturally-sensitive conversation, according to a University of Calgary (UCalgary) professor.
“Am I creating fear? Or am I in fear in my relationship?” said Kim Ruse, CEO of Men’s Counselling Service (MCS).
“We need to take a lead now. It is our responsibility. It is our issue. It is hurting us all, and we need to do something about it,” said Dr. Aamir Jamal, associate professor in the Faculty of Social Work at UCalgary.
Calgary Police Service says it’s seen an increase in domestics incident reporting, but a decrease in domestic violence calls, suggesting Calgarians are recognizing potentially dangerous situations, and asking for help before violence occurs.
Dr. Jamal says 94 per cent of violence against women and men is committed by a man, and part of the solution is tearing down societal beliefs about masculinity.
“Men need to understand that it’s okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to seek help, it’s okay to go and talk to someone,” said Jamal.
Calgary-based MCS is providing exactly that, as it works with men who are victims of abuse, and men who are abusers. They worked with 600 men over the past year, and say the hardest part is taking the first step.
“We know that men typically will look for help online first before they ever talk to anybody, their friends or family,” said Ruse.
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They’ve developed online resources, like menand.ca to help men with healthy resources. However, recognizing combatting abuse is not a one-size-fits-all situation. Jamal has run focus groups, allowing men a space to grow.
“I’d ask the question, ‘what it means to be a man,’ and they were talking ‘men won’t cry, men are emotionally strong,’ and when we opened up a bit, some of them started crying,” explained Jamal.
He says there’s a need for culturally appropriate conversations about abuse, particularly with Calgarians who have experienced trauma in war zones.
“There is a lot of trauma among those men. So, we also need to go into their world, to understand their world, to listen to them,” Jamal said.
