A shoo-in or no-go? How to decide what’s best for your Thanksgiving holiday with family

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, but dinners can be stressful for many who have little appetite for hanging out with family over the holidays.

The Psychologists’ Association of Alberta says the holidays can bring added pressures and responsibilities, which may heighten stress, anxiety, or loneliness. It also notes that lower or middle-income families have a harder time due to financial stressors.

While some may embrace the idea of “pumpkin and spice and everything nice,” gatherings for others can be more challenging and “possibly a little uncomfortable,” said Meg Lindemulder, a certified counsellor at Curio Counselling.

Everything from political differences to variances in values and old family wounds that never really healed are all on the table.

However, Lindemulder says whether you go or not is a personal decision.

“It depends on what your expectations are, whether you have set good boundaries in terms of knowing what you can and can’t put up with, whether you’ve communicated those boundaries with family members,” she told 660 NewsRadio.

“I think for a lot of us, we feel like it’s an obligation, that we really have no choice.”

If you do attend, Lindemulder suggests setting your expectations. Holiday marketing campaigns showing families having a good time can set unrealistic expectations, leading to frustration or disappointment.

“You see similar things around Christmas time where it’s like this expectation that … families are loving and supportive, and this is a time to celebrate and to enjoy each other’s company,” she said.

“There can be a lot of pressure to want to live up to that standard that you see everywhere as sort of the ideal and or the norm even.”

But if the turkey is already in the oven, what do you do when that doesn’t apply to you? Lindemulder suggests you think it through before deciding on being a shoo-in or a no-go.

She suggests weighing your options with a list of pros and cons, a cost-benefit analysis, and seeing what’s best for your immediate family.

“Does it make sense for you as a group to go into the large family gathering?” Lindemulder said.

Lindemulder says if you do decide to attend, tempering your expectations might help ensure that it’s a family dinner you won’t regret.